A lot of money is tainted — taint yours and taint mine.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
To the one who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
A will is a dead giveaway. (Groan)
Towels aren't good at telling jokes; they have a dry sense of humor.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
You'll never starve in the desert, if you remember that you can eat the sand which is there.
Atheism is a non-prophet institution.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log.
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