Have a little pun ~ and groan a little

Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?  It had too many sleepless knights.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?  Sir Render.

How long does it take to hit the ground if you slip on a banana peel?  A bananosecond.

I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.  I don't know Y.

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

I want a job cleaning mirrors.  I can see myself doing that.

I would like to make a pun about philosophy, but I Kant.  I studied philosophy in college, but Clawdia says she's the real philosofur at our house.

What do you call an awkward word?  An awkword.

What do you call a tiny collection of galaxies?  A puny-verse.

There was a flea circus in town, until a dog showed up and stole the show.

What to ask your sister when she's crying:  Are you having a crisis?

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?  A synonym roll.

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?  A trombone.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  It's impossible to put down.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?  One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

A bride gets a new name and a dress.
He drove his new car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
I burned my Hawaiian pizza.  Should have used aloha temperature.

Bad puns ... that's how eye roll.