My demise

It's been four-and-a-half years since I wrote this for my Words from a Wordsmith blog, and Nancy @ Bookfoolery and Babble and I just re-read it yesterday (long story).  What got to both of us was the comment left by Dewey that took our breath away.  First, I'll copy the post, then I'll get to Dewey's comment.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Earlier today, I posted this comment on Colleen's Loose Leaf Notes blog, in response to what she had written about death.

Colleen, I think we all "want to KNOW what happens next."   When I was 14, I wrote a poem for a neighbor who was worried about death (sorry, I don't know where that notebook is, so I can't share the poem with you).  Because of that woman, who is still alive today, I have thought carefully about death for over half a century.   One thing I have noticed is that older people don't seem to fear death as much as younger people.   Of course, there are exceptions, but I have reached a point that I am ready to discover whatever that adventure is that takes me beyond this that we know.  I doubt if any of our religions have it figured out, but it does seem likely to me that there is something more.  And this is my thinking:

(1) Things we need for life (like air, food, shelter, warm sunshine) are available for us in this life.
(2) That sounds like something GOOD to me.
(3) Why would that change when we make the next transition?
(4) Therefore, whatever we need after death will be available for us then.
(5) When the elderly die, they are usually less physically able than when they were young and virile ... and some are diseased or injured or in great pain.
(6) When an injured or very sick person dies, people often say, "At least he isn't suffering any more." (And most of us would even put an animal out of its misery.)
(7) Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I have heard people say, "Now she is able to walk again ... and even dance!" Or, "Now he is able to use his legs again!"
(8) Therefore, death is not a bad thing, but could be seen as something good ... like moving on to something better.

Okay, this is kind of unorthodox, but it's my thinking at this point in my life. And I don't dread what's beyond our present KNOWING. I'm not rushing toward it, since I want to experience all I can HERE before moving on, but I do look forward to it as a positive thing.

Curious about when you'll die? I'm not, really, but I'm posting this for the shock value.  According to The Death Clock, my "personal day of death" is September 4, 2034. This seems a bit odd, especially since all three of my children are "supposed" to die in the same decade.

I have posted this because I'm curious about what others might say about death and dying. Please leave a comment, even if you are a stranger to me. This is something that affects all of us.

If you want a tombstone, google "tombstone generator" and you'll get at least these two that I found.   Now I guess I should REALLY decide what I would want mine to say, huh?   I like the looks of the top photo, but I couldn't get as many words on it as on the bottom one.
__________

UPDATE (still August 21, 2007):   And now I've got the cause of death all figured out, too.

UPDATE (February 1, 2008):   I went back to check that Death Clock again, and now it says I'm gonna die on Monday, July 8, 2019. Hey! That's a full 15 years earlier than it told me in August! I must be going downhill fast.

UPDATE (February 9, 2012):  I had bypass surgery a year later, so I really was getting worse.  So I tried the Death Clock again today, just before posting this, and got — this is spooky — July 8, 2019.

The concersation begins here.

COMMENTS

August 22, 2007
Nicky @ Absolute Vanilla said:

Such an interesting post, Bonnie, I'm with you on most of it. I do believe death is the doorway to the next big adventure - or maybe its the doorway to home. I don't think it's anything we need to be afraid of - it's as natural as being born. Given that it is inevitable, I always wonder why we are socialised to fear it so - it doesn't really make sense. Funnily, enough, my post today is a sort of "short story" about encountering death.

August 25, 2007
Carole said:

Thinking of death to some may be morbid to others the body is just a shell and the soul goes on to another passage of time, is how I am looking at life here on earth. I have requested cremation, so I can have my ashes scattered in some nice place along a highway where I can fly all around the country seeing sites I will never see in this shell of a body, and be free to have no time on travel. When I think of my body decomposing in a box underground it sends chills up my spine.

I do not remember ever being afraid of death even when I was young; thinking of death is just another footstep of life, as we know it. Sometimes pain here on earth is so dramatic to our loved one that death is good. Putting down a beloved pet is good, sorrow, longing, grief, regret, pain, unhappiness are all words we use to describe life, while our society looks at suicide as being wrong. Perhaps here is where I have a problem with religious beliefs, until I walk in another person's shoes how am I to judge what another human being feels is my thoughts on the subject of suicide. Once again I think of those beautiful puffy white clouds rolling across the prairie knowing how at times those loved ones of mine are close enough to talk to and find myself speaking of them or feeling their presents here next to me and that makes me feel good.

August 26, 2007
Dewey @ The Hidden Side of a Leaf (since dismantled) said:

I'm completely comfortable with not trying to form an opinion about what happens after death. I figure if we were supposed to know, we'd know. I'm ok with waiting for the surprise (or lack thereof). I find that's not a very common viewpoint, though.

I think your point about older people not fearing death so much is related to pain and illness. I think those of us who have experienced long-term serious pain and/or illness feel that there are things worse than death. I know that if I were given the choice of being raped (for example) or having a quick bullet to the head, I surely would choose death.

February 8, 2012 (yesterday)
My online conversation with Nancy/Bookfool:

Bonnie:   I did find this "Discussion about Death" on my Words from a Wordsmith blog, and one who shared her ideas about death was Dewey.

Nancy:   Oh, wow. I just read your post and the comments. Dewey's comment along with the knowledge of her death . . . that just took my breath away.

Bonnie:  Yeah, it does, doesn't it?  Dewey died 15 months after writing that comment about death.  I was struck by this line which tells me more now than it did then:  "... those of us who have experienced long-term serious pain and/or illness ..."  I knew her doctor told her to take a year off from teaching, but I didn't really know how sick she was — I didn't know her pain.

So let's talk about it.  What do you think about death?  Or about Dewey and how you remember her?  Or about getting the same date years later, like this:

What a day!

Raegan, my great-granddaughter, had a rough day yesterday.  First, she had to stay home because she was not feeling well.  Then, she had to go to the doctor, which scares her.  When my babysitting daughter took her home from that, they got a call about a possible tornado in the area and the two of them watched videos on Grandma's (my daughter's) cell phone, while sitting in a strong closet until tornado danger was more or less over.  When I ate with my daughter yesterday evening, she shared this photo she took to send Raegan's parents to let them know the day wasn't ALL bad.  I think Raegan looks pretty good for a sick little girl.

When my It's Monday! What Are You Reading? post came online at its scheduled time, I was sitting near a window during the major wind and rain storm, trying to read during a power outage.  I had no idea my daughter was sitting in a closet with her granddaughter.  There was so much rain that my street flooded just south of me (photo above).  All over town, there were detours around traffic accidents and trees that had fallen across roads.  Traffic lights were out in several parts of town.  Overall, it was a mess around here!

TALK BACK

But I kept reading through the storm!  Yes, Robert Fulghum's What on Earth Have I Done? (2007) is that engrossing.

He lists some "conversation lifeboats" (pages 233-235) that he tosses out to keep things lively, anytime anywhere.  Here's a chance for you to TALK BACK to me by answering some of his questions.

15.  What ability/talent do you not have but would like to have?

20.  If you could live one short episode of your life over again -- a day, week, month -- which would it be?  And why?

7.  If you could be an eyewitness to some event in history, which one?

12.  Decisions of consequence -- what forks in the road were on your Way -- and what if you had taken the other path?

3.  What would you have learned to do it you knew then what you know now?  (Another language, for example.)

11.  Answer an unasked question -- something you know but nobody would ever ask about and you would never volunteer.

Bookstore booty

Today's books all came from an independent bookstore.  I support independent bookstores.  The big chain stores can undersell the small indies, but owners are more likely to be book lovers who can tell you something about any book in the store.  Tell me about your favorite independent, owner-operated bookstore.



Three books by Caroline B. Cooney ~ Out of Time (1996) and Prisoner of Time (1998) are about time travel, which fascinates me.

Synopsis of Whatever Happened to Janie? (1993): "No one ever paid attention to the faces of missing children on milk cartons. But as Janie Johnson glanced at the face of the little girl who had been taken twelve years ago, she recognized that little girl -- it was herself."


Face to Face ~ by Marion Dane Bauer, 1991

Bauer's On My Honor is one of my favorite YA novels, so I'm excited to find another.  Synopsis of this one:  "Picked on at school by bullies, 13-year-old Michael confronts his fears during a trip to Colorado to visit his father, a whitewater rafting guide whom Michael hasn't seen in eight years."


Things Not Seen ~ by Andrew Clements, 2002

Synopsis:  "Bobby Phillips is an average fifteen-year-old boy. Until the morning he wakes up and can’t see himself in the mirror. Not blind, not dreaming—Bobby is just plain invisible. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to Bobby’s new condition; even his dad the physicist can’t figure it out. For Bobby that means no school, no friends, no life. He’s a missing person. Then he meets Alicia. She’s blind, and Bobby can’t resist talking to her, trusting her. But people are starting to wonder where Bobby is. Bobby knows that his invisibility could have dangerous consequences for his family and that time is running out. He has to find out how to be seen again—before it’s too late."



South of Resurrection ~ by Jonis Agee, 1997

This is a collection of short stories about "people who love, lose, and try again." I don't know what attracted me to this one, since I don't often read story collections.



City of Light, City of Darkness is a graphic novel (1993).  The story is by Avi (an author I have met), and the art is by Brian Floca.  I probably won't review this book because it simply seemed silly to me.  There's no depth, and I couldn't figure out why people would do the things they did.



The Closed Circle: An Interpretation of the Arabs ~ by David Pryce-Jones, 1989.

Synopsis:  "This important book explains how Arabs are closed in a circle defined by tribal, religious, and cultural traditions. David Pryce-Jones examines the tribal forces which, he believes, drive the Arabs in their dealings with each other and with the West. In the postwar world, he argues, the Arabs reverted to age-old tribal and kinship structures, a closed circle from which they have been unable to escape, and in which violence is systemic. A healthy corrective, a thought-provoking study." -- David K. Shipler, New York Times Book Review



And finally, a little religious humor with YHWH Is Not a Radio Station in Minneapolis by Craig McNair Wilson, 1983.  "YHWH" are the Hebrew letters for the name of God.  This book plays with the alphabet, like a children's book of ABCs.

TALK BACK

Do you ever shop at independent bookstores?  If so, tell me about your favorite independent, owner-operated bookstore.