Puns for persons with higher IQs

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu ~ the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating ~ always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding ~ a case of wife or death.

A man with a mistress is trying to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek to cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

A will is a dead give away.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

In a democracy your vote counts; in feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a man with a wood leg, but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia ~ the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted ~ taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.













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(Groan ~ blame Susan for sending me these.)