Sunday Salon ~ she's a crone!

Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women ~ by Jean Shinoda Bolen, 2003, psychology, 8/10

"To be a crone is about inner development, not outer appearance.  A crone is a woman who has wisdom, compassion, humor, courage, and vitality.  She has a sense of truly being herself, can express what she knows and feels, and take action when need be.  She does not avert her eyes or numb her mind from reality.  She can see the flaws and imperfections in herself and others, but the light in which she sees is not harsh and judgmental.  She has learned to trust herself to know what she knows" (p. 4).

Some women now have "croning" ceremonies as a rite of passage into a time of wisdom, freedom, and personal power.  These women don't mind — in this age of glorifying callow youth — admitting they have lived fifty, sixty, seventy years.  Rather, we are claiming every one of those years we've lived.  My croning came at the age of 62, though the number of years is not really what matters.  Some choose the time of menopause, retirement, or a meaningful birthday — like the 60th.  It's about what a woman wants to do with this season of her life.

"If you love gardening (or anything that you do that engages your soul), you lose track of time and are absorbed in the present moment.  That very quality distinguishes that which feeds you or gives you energy from that which depletes you.  One person's onerous task is another person's joy" (p. 24).

I've written about crones several times before today:

Maid, Mother, Crone
Outrageous Older Woman
Wise Old Woman
Five Senses? Six? Seven?
The Mists of Avalon
Library Loot ~ when I borrowed this book

So what's it like, being a crone?  Jean Shinoda Bolen gives us some clues:

• "A woman who heeds the inner crone can be politely rude, saying 'No, thank you,' without listening further, and hang up on a caller" (p. 30).
• "Among indigenous peoples, 'grandmother' is a title of respect for an older woman in a society that had councils of wisewomen elders, women beyond childbearing years whose own children were grown, and whose maternal concern was now for all the children of the tribe and for generations to come" (p. 43).
• "A crone is a woman who has found her voice" (p. 41).
• "If we acquire a crone's-eye view, then we will see ourselves and others from the perspective of soul rather than ego" (p. 7).
• "Long before the gurus came with mantras and meditation, women in training to be crones as well as crones themselves found time and ways to meditate.  It may have been called 'washing the dishes and staring out the window,' or 'folding laundry and thinking,' or 'daydreaming,' or 'doing nothing' " (p. 35).
• "When you find the courage to speak the truth, you begin to liberate yourself from the past that otherwise holds you hostage.  Crones are in the habit of speaking the truth" (p. 61).
• "When women come together and make a commitment to each other to be in a circle, especially one with a spiritual center, they are creating a vessel of transformation for themselves, and a vehicle for change in their world" (pp. 101-102).
• "The wisdom of the inner crone is knowing when to speak and what to say" (p. 54).
• "The suffering of others or the feeling of Enough is enough! radicalizes older women" (p. 42).
• "Truth is, she does not exactly reinvent herself intentionally; rather she is improvising, adapting to change, responding to what engages her energy" (pp. 72-73).
• in the absence of such women, crone wisdom has been so far represented by exceptional men who are crones, such as Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Jimmy Carter" (p. 100).

This is what I've been reading this weekend.  What about you?

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