TWOsday ~ two jokes, plus one

Jokes Every Woman Should Know ~ edited by Jennifer Worick, 2013, nah

I spent an hour this evening going through books to be shelved in our small library at the Crown Center where I live.  Among a bunch of donated books someone had left on the counter were coloring books, a Rugrats jigsaw puzzle for 5-8 year olds,  and a couple of torn children's books.  We don't have many infants living in our retirement center (exactly zero, actually), so it was strange to see these "gifts" for our library.  Among the books for grown-ups was this tiny joke book, which I took home to peruse and decide whether to shelve or discard.

I'd heard several of the jokes before, but most weren't worth the time, even though I read through the entire 144 pages of one-joke-to-a-page in no time flat.  I found two I'd heard or read previously that I still like, plus that one, single, new-to-me joke that made me smile.

ONE (p. 32)

A car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole; several bystanders ran over to help the driver.  A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside.  "Step aside, lady," he barked.  "I've taken a course in first aid."  The woman watched for a few seconds and then tapped him on the shoulder.  "Pardon me," she said.  "But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here."

TWO (p. 115)

As a professional photographer, Nora takes a lot of pride in her pictures, carrying them with her everywhere.  She goes to a party where her host Liz says, "Wow, these are amazing pictures.  You must have a great camera."  Offended by the idea that her whole talent is based on her camera, Nora waited until the end of the meal and then thanked her host.  "Thank you, Liz, the meal was delicious, especially the soup.  You must have really great pots."

PLUS (p. 113)

An executive was interviewing an applicant for a position in his company.  He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked:  "If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"  She quickly responded, "The living one."

All three of these, I notice, are quirky.  Maybe the word is snarky.  And maybe my sense of humor is just different.  Oh, yeah, shelve or discard?  I gave it to a resident who's a temporary shut-in, with instructions to let me know her opinion of the book.  We'll probably discard it, which in our case means sending it to the JCC for their bi-annual book fair.