Sunday Salon ~ rape prevention and a book

The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help ~ by Jackson Katz, 2006

This is the first book ever to comprehensively and convincingly make the case that violence against women is a men’s issue.  Katz, one of the nation’s foremost authorities on this subject, takes the reader deep inside male culture to examine why so many men physically and sexually abuse women and children, including those closest to them.  One prominent study found that at least 20% of adolescent girls have been physically or sexually abused by a date or a boyfriend.  The book makes a powerful case to men that the only way to end the abuse and mistreatment of women is for many more self-identified “good guys” to make these issues their own.  Katz is an influential figure in a growing movement of men who are taking the work of gender violence prevention into male culture, in the effort to engage many more men as allies in this critical work.

I hope to get this book in my library delivery on Thursday.  I just put it on reserve a few minutes ago, after I posted this revealing illustration on Facebook today:

Click on this list to enlarge it.

Men ask why women are so angry.  Jackson Katz illustrates why.  He's done it with hundreds of audiences:

I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other.  Then I ask just the men:  "What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?"  At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question.  The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter.  Occasionally, a young guy will raise his hand and say, "I stay out of prison."  This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, "Nothing. I don't think about it."

Then I ask the women the same question.  What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?  Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands.  As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine.

Hold my keys as a potential weapon.  Look in the back seat of the car before getting in.  Carry a cell phone.  Don't go jogging at night.  Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights.  Be careful not to drink too much.  Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured.  Own a big dog.  Carry Mace or pepper spray.  Have an unlisted phone number.  Have a man's voice on my answering machine.  Park in well-lit areas.  Don't use parking garages.  Don't get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men.  Vary my route home from work.  Watch what I wear.  Don't use highway rest areas.  Use a home alarm system.  Don't wear headphones when jogging.  Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime.  Don't take a first-floor apartment.  Go out in groups.  Own a firearm.  Meet men on first dates in public places.  Make sure to have a car or cab fare.  Don't make eye contact with men on the street.  Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”

Jackson Katz was the first man to minor in women's studies at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, holds a master's degree from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and a Ph.D. in cultural studies and education from UCLA.

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Beginning ~ on a Sunday morning

"As a minister I rarely found the entirety of a Sunday service depressing.  But some mornings disease and despair seemed to permeate the congregation like floodwaters in sandbags, and the only people who stood during the moment when we shared our joys and concerns were those souls who were intimately acquainted with nursing homes, ICUs, and the nearby hospice."

Secrets of Eden ~ by Chris Bohjalian, 2010, fiction (Vermont)

"There," says Alice Hayward to Reverend Stephen Drew, just after her baptism, and just before going home to the husband who will kill her that evening and then shoot himself.  Drew, tortured by the cryptic finality of that short utterance, feels his faith in God slipping away and is saved from despair only by a meeting with Heather Laurent, the author of wildly successful, inspirational books about ― angels.  Heather survived a childhood that culminated in her own parents' murder-suicide, so she identifies deeply with Alice’s daughter, Katie, offering herself as a mentor to the girl and a shoulder for Stephen ― who flees the pulpit to be with Heather and see if there is anything to be salvaged from the spiritual wreckage around him.  But then the State's Attorney begins to suspect that Alice's husband may not have killed himself ― and finds out that Alice had secrets only her minister knew.

I've already read more than half of this book ― 200 pages of the 378, which include the Reading Group Guide.  I've read enough to discover the book is divided into four parts, following the story from the viewpoints of four different people:  the minister, the deputy state's attorney (according to page 7), the author of those books about angels, and the daughter.  I'm only into part two, the attorney's viewpoint, but the book is pulling me along as I see things from different perspectives.

Gilion at Rose City Reader hosts Book Beginnings on Fridays. Click here for today's Linky.

Banned Books Week ~ Sept. 23-29, 2018

It's been ten years since I wrote (on my blog) about my granddaughter reading And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell (2005).  Night before last, I mentioned that book to my newest book discussion group, and then Helen wrote about it on her blog.  Wow!  What a coincidence!  It must be time for me to re-read this book.  I highly recommend that you read it for yourself.

It's Banned Books Week, so read a banned book.  If you need suggestions for something to read, check out this Newsweek article about most frequently banned books.  The list of ten most banned at the end of the article includes And Tango Makes Three.  And do, please, watch the short video at the top of the article.  It's only 1:50 minutes long (under two minutes!), and I want you to notice WHY the last-mentioned book was banned.  It has "unwholesome values" because of its "independent female protagonist."  Okay, I'm sure you know how I feel about that!

Here's page for you to color from the American Library Association.  (Click to enlarge it.)  WORDS HAVE POWER, it says.  Yes!  Words are so powerful that they scare some people.  After all, would we want independent females?  Obviously, some people would NOT.

Cosmos and cosmic

Cosmos (noun) ― the universe seen as a well-ordered whole.
Cosmic (adjective) ― relating to the universe or cosmos, especially as distinct from the earth.

I ran into Shirvan in the lobby Monday evening, and he asked about the word "cosmos."  Is it the same as "universe"?  I had to think about it, but as best I could sort through what I knew of the word, they were pretty much the same.

I remember Cosmos, the best-selling science book by Carl Sagan from 1980, as being about the universe.  But do we have two words that mean exactly the same thing?

"The cosmos is all that is, or ever was, or ever will be," says Carl Sagan at the beginning of the (four-minute) introduction to his 13-part television series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage.

I got the definitions above from Google.  Here's what Merriam-Webster adds:

"Cosmos often simply means universe, but the word is generally used to suggest an orderly or harmonious universe, as it was originally used by Pythagoras in the 6th century B.C."

I've read the book Cosmic Consciousness by Richard Maurice Bucke (1900) at least two or three times, as I posted in August.  The book's sub-title is A Study in the Evolution of the Human Mind.  Now I'll have to think about how that kind of consciousness relates to the universe as distinct from the earth.  This use of the word "cosmic" is actually more metaphysical than scientific, according to Merriam-Webster, but this has been an interesting reflection on the cosmos and however it may ― or may not ― relate to cosmic consciousness.

Women judges on the Supreme Court

Elena Kagan, Sandra Day O'Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Sonia Sotomayor are the Supreme Court's only women judges, ever.

1. Sandra Day O'Connor (1981-2006)
2. Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1993-present)
3. Sonia Maria Sotomayor (2009-present)
4. Elena Kagan (2010-present)

Road crossing a forest

Today I will ponder "a road crossing a forest" viewpoint, as opposed to our human assumption that the deer is crossing one of OUR roads.  From the deer's point of view, that road came through the forest, making a mess of things, causing problems, making life difficult and extremely dangerous.  Oh, to see the world ― and life ― as others see it.

Sunday Salon ~ new books and activities

BOOKS

Sister of Mine ~ by Sabra Waldfogel, 2016, fiction (Georgia)

When two Union soldiers stumble onto a plantation in northern Georgia on a warm May day in 1864, the last thing they expect is to see the Union flag flying high — or to be greeted by a group of freed slaves and their Jewish mistress.  Little do they know that this place has an unusual history.  Twelve years prior, Adelaide Mannheim — daughter of Mordecai, the only Jewish planter in the county — was given her own maid, a young slave named Rachel.  The two became friends, and soon they discovered a secret:  Mordecai was Rachel’s father, too.  As the country moved toward war, Adelaide and Rachel struggled to navigate their newfound sisterhood — from love and resentment to betrayal and, ultimately, forgiveness.  Now, facing these Union soldiers as General Sherman advances nearer, their bond is put to the ultimate test.  Will the plantation be spared?  Or will everything they’ve lived for be lost?

I bought this for my Kindle yesterday, after reading the opening pages and noticing that Sherman's men had just come from fighting the Battle of Chickamauga.  That's just south of Chattanooga, my hometown, so I can visualize the area, having been there many times.  I grew up so close to Georgia that I could ride my bicycle there ... and did, once.  This is a revised edition, having been previously published as Slave and Sister.  I'm looking forward to this one, and here's another one I added to my Kindle a few days ago.

Thunder Dog: The True Story of a Blind Man, His Guide Dog, and the Triumph of Trust at Ground Zero ~ by Michael Hingson, with Susy Flory, 2011, memoir

Every moment in Michael Hingson’s and Roselle’s lives seemed to lead up to this day.  When one of four hijacked planes flew into the World Trade Center’s north tower on September 11, 2001, Michael Hingson, a district sales manager for a data protection and network security systems company, was sitting down for a meeting.  His guide dog, Roselle, was at his feet.  Paired for twenty-one months, man and dog spent that time forging a bond of trust, much like police partners who trust their lives to each other.  Michael couldn’t see a thing, but he could hear the sounds of shattering glass, falling debris, and terrified people flooding around him and Roselle.  However, Roselle sat calmly beside him.  In that moment, Michael chose to trust Roselle’s judgment and not to panic.  They were a team.

Most of us remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when the airplanes hit the Twin Towers on 9-11.  Seventeen years later, I can still feel the anxiety of that day.  Yes, this should be a good story.

Crown Center ACTIVITIES

Tricia Falmer, Sandy Moreno's daughter, showed us how to make alcohol ink designs on ceramic tiles on August 29th in the Crown Center art room.  We began with a gentle mist of alcohol, and added 2-3 drops of paint.  It was odd to blow through a stir stick to get a feathery look.  We had brushes to make smooth strokes, stir sticks to drag through the paint drops, and a can of air to push the paint around.  What you see here is what I produced.

The Crown Center bus took a group of us to visit the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis a couple of days earlier.  Click the link for brighter and more colorful photos and for more information about the Basilica.

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