United Methodists — especially United Methodist clergypersons — will understand this question completely. 'Tis the season for each UM Church to have its annual charge conference, where paperwork is completed and filed with the District Superintendent in a meeting to look at how well (or poorly) the church has done during the past year. I may be retired, but there's no such thing as a former ordained United Methodist pastor when it comes to marrying, burying, or preaching. Therefore, at my church's charge conference on Monday evening, copies of my "Report of Retired Pastor—2013" will be among the reports in the stacks of paper (one copy for the district office, one for the church, one for the pastor herself).
To answer Grumpy Cat's "do I have to?" question ... No, Grumpy Cat, we'd actually rather you not come to the meeting. As for myself, do I have to? No, technically I don't have to attend, as long as I send in my report. But I do plan to be there — Monday evening, November 4th, 7:00 pm — yep, I'll be there. So will these characters, apparently.