Remembering a long-ago Saturday

The long-ago Saturday that is on my mind today was February 28, 1959.  Let's see, 2026 minus 1959 is 67 years ago.  That's the day I married.  I remember as we left the church, that car-loads of friends were lined up to follow us.  We got into our "getaway" car driven by a friend, but went straight through it to another friend's car going in the opposite direction.  Yep, we almost got away, except for those who happened to be parked going in that direction.  I no longer remember details, but I do remember divorcing him 14 years and three children later (also in February).  The three children, all married now, gave me seven grandchildren.  The first one made me a grandparent on grandparents day.  And now I have six GREAT-grandchildren).  This photo includes four generations (I'm wearing red):

Beginning ~ with a cane for balance

Beginning = "At some point when I was a child, my father started using a cane to keep himself balanced when he walked." ~ from The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama, 2022, self-help, 336 pages.  Click the title for what I wrote about the book in my Sunday post a couple of weeks ago.  I've been reading it so it can go back to the library quickly for others on the waiting list.  I thought of the cane I used in 2012 and the one I use now.

I've started taking a cane with me when I leave the apartment, just to help me stay steady and not fall.  This old photo shows my great-grandson Jaxon (age 2 at that time) with his parents.  Jaxon was showing us that he knew how a cane is to be used, though I'd say it was a bit large for him, wouldn't you?  A friend of mine borrowed that wooden cane and hasn't given it back, though I have never seen her use it.  So I've been using Donna's old cane instead.

All that musing, and I have still read only the first few lines of this book!  I'm chastising myself:  Go read, girl, and quite getting sidetracked.

Gilion at Rose City Reader hosts

Book Beginnings on Fridays.

Looking at four generations

This family photo was taken in 2011.  I also posted it HERE.  I am standing next to my grandson; my daughter and my son (and his wife) are sitting in the chairs holding THEIR grandchildren.  My grandson's wife (mother of the youngest of my great-grandchildren at the time) is over there beside the Coke machine.  That's FOUR generations, and I'm the great-grandmother.  It's still hard to imagine myself the mother of grandparents.  I have seven grandchildren and six great-grandchildren now.

This photo of me with my twin daughters was taken in 2016, when they visited me in St. Louis.  I also posted it HERE.  I enjoy sharing family photos with my friends, who also share pictures of their families.  We're proud grandparents and great-grandparents.

Stories about my dad

For Christmas 2003, I gave each of my grandchildren a piece of history, a story about their ancestors.  Everyone got a different tale, which meant they would have to share their stories in order to get a fuller picture of the people from their past.  My three grandsons got stories about their great-grandfather William Elmer Setliffe, Jr.  My four granddaughters got stories about their great-grandmother Mildred Inez Reynolds Setliffe, which I'll share next Thursday.

For Kendall

My dad spent a lot of his growing-up years on Main Street [in Chattanooga, Tennessee].  That's where his father, my "pops," had his meat market.  Both my dad and his brother Jeff became meat cutters like their father, and each eventually had his own store or meat market.  Dad opened his grocery store at the corner of Main Street and Central Avenue, only a few blocks from where his father's meat market had been.  The meat counter had a glass front like those in a deli today.  I have a 1942 photo of the store showing Pops on the left (with center counters hiding the fact that he had had one leg amputated), Dad wearing his white apron and leaning an elbow on the back counter where he weighed meat on the big white scales, and two assistants in the back.

I remember living behind our store, and Dad's parents lived there with us.  One morning, Pops was shaving in the bathroom and one button of his long johns was unbuttoned.  I giggled and pointed and sing-songed:  "I see Popsy's hiney!"  My elders enjoyed that story for years.

I remember only a few "important" things about the store, since I was only two when I lived there.  By important things, I mean my job.  I got to arrange the apples in the front window.  My daddy let me stand on a stool and put the apples on the slanted board.  I can also tell you exactly where the cookie bins were ― in the center of the store.  Getting a cookie, either to sell or nibble, meant taking the silver top off the big glass container and reaching in for the cookie you wanted.  The jars were on a lower shelf, exactly at the eye level of a little girl like me.

I told [my son] David, when he was promoted from bag boy to the meat section of Pruett's [grocery store] on Signal Mountain, that he was following in the footsteps of his ancestors.  I could remember seeing my dad with gauze around a thumb because he had chopped meat a bit too close to his own hand.  Once when I was at Pruett's, I saw David behind the counter with his thumb similarly wrapped ― and the bandage was soppy wet.  Until that moment, I had forgotten that Dad's bandage was also usually wet from handling the frozen food.  I was not too happy about that particular connection between my son and my father, but I guess it comes with the territory ― using meat cleavers and sharp knives.  Still, I couldn't resist telling David no one wanted part of his thumb in their meat.

When I began managing the Trenton bookstore in August [of 2003], I felt totally at home.  Recently, it occurred to me that the bookstore is about the size of Dad's meat market and I'm following the family tradition, retailing to customers who prefer small stores.  No wonder I love working there.

For Chase

My dad had two children and one more on the way in 1944, when World War II was in its next-to-last year.  Being a father had kept him out of the war until then, but in 1944 he was drafted.  He had to leave before Christmas, but Santa was good to us that year and came early so Daddy could enjoy Christmas with us before he left.  I was four years old as I stood on the sofa, waving goodbye to him through the window, and Billy would have been barely two.  Dad was wearing his Army uniform and waved as he walked up the sidewalk.  My little sister, Ann, was born the following March and was several months old before Daddy came home again.

The Army had a funny way of assigning jobs.  Because Dad owned a meat market and grocery store, someone must have thought "food" and decided my daddy should be a cook.  He didn't know how to cook, not at all.  So he wrote home to his wife, my Mama, and asked for her recipes.  Can you imagine taking a recipe to make something for a family of four and multiplying it to feed thousands of men?  That's what he did.  Apparently he did a pretty good job as a cook and came home still cooking "enough to feed an army."  He loved to make chili, but there was always enough to feed the whole neighborhood, literally!  So we would have a block party even before it was called that.  He would use a white coffee cup to ladle out the chili.

It's funny that I miss his chili and wish I could have some now, because I never wanted his chili when I was a child.  It burned my mouth and was too spicy for me.  I guess that's the way the soldiers preferred it, and I would probably like it now.  I wonder if I could find his recipe if I looked through old family papers.  Probably not, because Daddy mostly cooked by dumping in lots of meat and beans and spices and tasting until it was just the way he wanted it.

If he were still alive, I know he'd be sitting around telling you about all his exploits in Japan and in the Philippines.  He would tell you about sailing to the Philippines on the U.S.S. Enterprise, an aircraft carrier.  It was the biggest ship the Navy had at that time, so you could probably find a photo of that ship in a history book or an encyclopedia.  But I've saved you the time by printing out some information I found online for you.  He loved to tell stories, and he would illustrate the letters he sent home to us.  He drew not only things he saw, but cartoons about cows or anything he thought would make us laugh and enjoy his letters.

For Jamey

My dad was in the Army during World War II and was sent to Japan near the end of the war.  He was in the First Cavalry [division], which had a yellow patch with a black stripe slanted across it and the head of a horse in the upper part.  It looks like the one at the right side of this paragraph.  One of the funny stories he told was about the Japanese making replacement patches for the Army and making the "horses" with long ears.  They were making jackasses out of the First Cavalry!

My dad liked to tell stories and make people laugh, so I'm never quite sure whether a story was true or was "elaborated."  Even though Dad was a cook, he also drove big trucks and (according to him) led convoys of trucks because of his good sense of direction.  The soldiers, after all, couldn't read Japanese road signs.  When we children would ask him to tell us about the war, he said he had "captured two Japs."  Then he would tell the truth about that capture:

One night he was writing a letter to Mama (and us kids) and heard footsteps in the gravel outside his tent.  When he went silently to investigate, he found two Japs (what we called the Japanese people during the war).  The two were trying to steal food, and Daddy was the cook.  He grabbed both of them without having to fire a shot.  Only at the end of the story did Daddy admit the two he "captured" were children.  Although he didn't say so, I can only imagine my child-loving daddy fed those hungry kids before he turned them in.

In another story Daddy told us about hearing piano music coming from a Japanese house he was walking past.  He stopped and tried to tell the owner he wanted to listen.  The man, however, thought Dad wanted his daughter, who was playing the piano.  So he got very angry and ran Dad off, even though he simply wanted to listen to the music.  Back home in Chattanooga, as Daddy knew, I was learning to play the big upright piano in the living room.  All he wanted was to think about music and his family.  My dad was a family man who loved his children.  He was missing us when he heard the piano inside that house.

Hygge Holiday Challenge ~ first update

Dec. 1 ~ start a gratitude list

• Three children ~ Barbara, Sandra, and David.
• Seven grandchildren ~ Kendall, Cali, Brandy, Kenzie, Chase, Jamey, and Cady.
• Six great-grandchildren ~ Raegan, Jaxon, Shelby, Jonathan, Micah, and Shiloh.

Dec. 2 ~ add relaxing scents

I lit a vanilla-scented candle and bought a new hand soap scented with coconut water and mango to use in the kitchen.  I'm already using hand soap in the bathroom that's lavender-scented.

Dec. 3 ~ more gratitude

Since I'm retired, the challenge on the list makes no sense for me:  "sleep in 15 mins or more."  I can do that any day.  Instead, I'll add to my gratitude list.

Randi Schenberg

I'm very grateful for the Crown Center for Senior Living for being the great place for active retirees that it is.  That means being thankful for the wonderful people on the staff and the board.  Randi Schenberg, the Community Relations Director, was the first person I met at the Crown Center, when I applied to live here.  In February, Randi was given the 2017 JProStl Pillar Award, and I posted a 2-minute video about it on this blog.  Thanks, Randi, for your smiles and all you do for the Crown Center!

Dec. 4 ~ learn a new skill

I'm still trying to learn how to operate my new computer.  I've been very annoyed trying to use Windows 10.  Oops!  Being annoyed is not very "hyggeligt" ― it doesn't create a cozy environment.  I'll get someone to help me with the new laptop, but not today.  I'm going to get comfy, instead, and read a book.

Dec. 5 ~ get the Hygge book

I went to the University City Library and got a copy of The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking.  Loosely translated, hygge is a sense of comfort, togetherness, and well-being.  It's about an atmosphere and an experience, like being cuddled up on a sofa, wearing cozy socks, and covered by a soft throw during a storm.  And don't forget to light a candle or two.

Dec. 6 ~ "unbook" yourself

Too late!  I had already agreed to drive my friend Barbara somewhere today.  Watching her enjoy old friendships was also joyful for me, so it worked out perfectly.  On our way back home, we stopped at the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions for Barbara and for another Crown Center resident, since we were going there anyway.  She and I also had lunch together in the Circle@Crown Café and visited with several people, including Judy and Marianne.

Dec. 7 ~ send a thank you note

I looked through my cards and found this one that says "Thoughts of you..." on the front and on the inside "...are the happiest kind!"  Who and why shall remain between the recipient and me, but the card is on its way.

The challenge
Click this link to see the complete Hygge Holiday Challenge calendar.

Thursday Thirteen ~ family on my mind

1.  Shiloh Mae, due to arrive in November, is my sixth great-grandchild.  Shiloh means "one who is peaceful."

2.  Jaxon has been to the doctor twice and to the ER for fluids. No one knew exactly what was wrong with him, his mom reported today when she asked for prayers.  Late in the day, she had a call from the doctor and learned he has salmonella, apparently from a restaurant.  That's the only time he ate anything different from the rest of the family.

3.  My twins took part in the Race for the Cure over the weekend.

4.  I got to visit with David and Sharon while in Chattanooga this summer.

5.  Jamey graduating from the university.

6.  Micah is busy crawling through the tube.

7.  Jonathan is absorbed in his activity.

8.  Cady now has a driver's licence.

9.  Shelby and I like cats.

10.  Sandra at Raegan's school on Grandparents' Day, today.

11.  I visited my sister Ann on July 14th, three weeks before she died.

12.  Sandra and Barbara in the Race for the Cure ran into Chase on the UTC campus.

13.  Grandkids when there were only six.  Clockwise from top left:  Brandy, Kendall, Cali, Kenzie, Jamey, and Chase.

TBT ~ my grandchildren

Back row:  Brandy, Kendall, Cali

Front row:  Chase, Jamey, Kenzie

This was about 1994.  Cady, my 7th grandchild, was not born until 2000.

Friday Five ~ now

Thanks to Jan in Texas, who provided today's Friday Five questions.

1.  Who do you think of for Father’s Day?

My son David is a wonderful father and grandfather.  The photo shows him coaching his 4-year-old grandson's ballgame in May.  I tell people, "My son's son had a son" — between the two generations pictured is my grandson, whose wife recently posted a picture on Facebook showing him mowing the lawn next door.  She wrote:  "This is one of the reasons I love this man.  He's mowing our neighbor's yard because the man broke his collar bone."  Therefore, I nominate my son for Father of the Year — because of the way he and his wife raised their children to be caring adults.  By the way, David's birthday is Sunday.  He'll be 52 years old, but he still looks like my little boy to me.

2.  What are you thinking about right now?

Rev. Dr. Anna Howard Shaw

I've been thinking about a new word I found while reading The Story of a Pioneer by Anna Howard Shaw, first published in 1915.  The author mentioned a man's "fimbriated face."  Fascinated by words since the age of two, I rarely run across a word that is totally new to me.  Two friends and I discussed the word over dinner at Applebee's last night, as they tried to help me figure out how to look up the word in the Oxford English Dictionary that came already installed on my new Kindle.  The word ˈfim brēˌātid means "having a fringe or border of hairlike or fingerlike projections."  I concluded that Anna Howard Shaw meant the man had a fringe of hair around his face, maybe a full beard that was continuous with his hair.

3.  What book are you reading or have just finished reading?

I'm also reading Discover the Power Within You by Eric Butterworth, 1968.  The author shares the greatest discovery of all time:  the ability to see the divine within us all.  Jesus saw this divine dimension in every human being, and Butterworth reveals this hidden and untapped resource to be a source of limitless abundance.  Exploring this "depth potential," Butterworth outlines ways in which we can release the power locked within us for better health, greater confidence, increased success, and inspired openness to let our "light shine" forth for others.

4.  What was the best movie you have seen in the past year?

I've seen only two or three movies in the past year, and the best was probably the one I watched a couple of weeks ago.  Still Alice is a 2014 drama based on Lisa Genova's 2007 bestselling novel of the same name.  I wanted to see this movie because my mother had Alzheimer's like the main character in the film.  Alice is very intelligent and tries to work around her own memory problems, but the disease makes things very difficult, thwarting her best efforts over and over.

5.  News in our world is overwhelming with politics, tragedy, dissension, and hope.  What current affairs are you thinking about?

I'm thinking about racism and violence, especially the madness of the terrorist who murdered nine people attending a Bible study at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, shot because of the color of their skin.  I agree with Bernie Sanders, who said, "This senseless violence fills me with outrage, disgust, and a deep, deep sadness."  People all over the world are shocked at American violence and wonder why we think guns are going to solve anything.

This video of a prayer by the pastor who was killed also lists and shows all nine victims.

Sunday Salon ~ booked up

REAL LIFE

VISITORS

Tillie and Donna represent all the people who have cheered me on as I recuperate from falling and shattering my shoulder on December 6th.

• My roommate Donna has been my biggest helper:  making meals, doing my laundry, helping me dress, waking from a sound sleep when I call for help, getting me to appointments, shopping for things I need, bringing home library books.
  

  One-handed (left hand, at that), I cannot cut a piece of meat, peel a banana, open a can, tear open a microwave box, stir food cooking on the stove, slice an apple, open a plastic bag, tear open a granola bar, or pop the top of a little can of V-8.  I have managed to cut open a small packet using scissors, but only when I can keep it from sliding away from me.

• My daughter Sandra, who saw the ambulance pull away from the restaurant where I fell, came to the ER as soon as she was notified and has spent lots of time with me, taking me to doctors, running errands for me, and makimg my apartment more accessible for me in my newly handicapped condition.
• Jane, Larry and Betty, June, Jeannine, Irby and Sara, Ginnie, Phil, Linda and Gene, Elsa and Bob, Martha, Sandra, Tillie, Charlotte, Bill and Diane, and many others from my church and Sunday school have brought food.  (Jane also brought a "reacher" and an expandable back-scratcher.)
• Ginnie, Emily, Sandra, and Jane each stayed with me when Donna was at work or volunteering at the Community Kitchen for the homeless or at her own medical appointments.
• Some, like my neighbor Anthony and Phil (who sent this email), were willing to help in other ways.
  

  "Bonnie, glad to know that your mind and left arm are both functioning enough to send an e-mail.  I have been following your condition through Jane's notes.  I do not cook, but will be glad to pick up items you need from the grocery.  I do drive and will be glad to take you to the doctors or other places needed.  I am in town for next several weeks except for week-end of December 14, 15 and 16.  Give me a call any time."

• Many others sent cards by snail mail or left messages here on my posts or emailed me.
• Home health care folks take care of sponge baths and — just yesterday — shampooing my hair.

Yes, it takes a village, and I am so grateful to every single one of you.  I feel blessed.

This is my 2-year-old great-grandson Jaxon, showing us that he knows how a cane is to be used.  It's a tad large for him though, don't you think?

WHITE-TAILED DEER

Every Saturday morning, beginning precisely at 7:30 a.m., we hear rifle shots nearby.  Every Saturday, including yesterday morning.  I wonder how many of these white-tailed deer have been killed since I wrote about them a month ago.  (Click the photo once or even twice to enlarge it and see the nine deer running away when I appeared.)

PLAYING CATCH UP

I started studying several books this year that, for one reason or another, I never completed.  If I have a New Year's resolution, it's to finish working my way through these books.

Christianity for the Rest of Us: How the Neighborhood Church Is Transforming the Faith ~ by Diana Butler Bass, 2006

Living Buddha, Living Christ ~ by Thích Nhất Hạnh, introduction by Elaine Pagels, Foreward by Brother David Steindl-Rast, 1995, religion

Naked Spirituality ~ by Brian D. McLaren, 2011

JUST ARRIVED

Donna's pastor handed her his copy of this book, saying he thought she would like it.  She did, telling me one of us ought to buy a copy so she could read it again someday.  So I ordered it and have now started reading my copy.  I've read more than 50 pages of it and agree totally that this is a book Donna and I will want to discuss.

Jim and Casper Go to Church ~ by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper, 2007, religion

Jim Henderson pays people to go to church.  In fact, he made national news when he “rented” a soul for $504 on E-Bay after its owner offered an “open mind” to the highest bidder.  In this book, Hendrson hires another atheist — Matt Casper — to visit ten leading churches with him and give the “first impression” perspective of a non-believer.  What follows is a startling dialogue between an atheist and a believer seeing church anew through the eyes of a skeptic — and the development of an amazing relationship between two men with diametrically opposing views of the world who agree to respect each others' space.

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Left-handed report on my life

inside the ambulance

inside the ER

Views from inside the ambulance and from inside the emergency room.  The EMTs thought I was crazy, taking pictures, which is of course absolutely true.  But it took my mind off the pain.  Short version:  I fell on my way into the restaurant to meet my friend Jane.  I was hurrying, wasn't careful enough, tripped on the curb, and dived lip first onto the pavement.  I have no idea how my upper lip made contact, yet my nose didn't.  Both hands and both knees were badly gashed and bloody, but worst was my right elbow, which took the brunt of the fall, jamming the humerus (upper arm bone) upward into my shoulder.  I couldn't turn my wrist and was sure I had broken my shoulder, but it's the arm bone, just below the knob at the shoulder.  Tomorrow -- well, actually that's today since I haven't slept much here in my recliner all night -- I have to see an orthopedic surgeon.

Jane followed the ambulance to the nearby hospital and called my son, who notified his sisters.  My daughter Sandra showed up at the hospital within minutes of getting the phone call.  She had been shoppimg across the street from the restaurant and watched the ambulance depart, not knowing her mom was in it until her brother called.  My kids got me home, picked up the prescription pain medications, fetched my car from the restautant parking lot (I won't be driving it for awhile, without the use of my right hand), and took turns staying with me as they took care of everything for me.  Sandra cancelled all she was scheduled to do tomorrow -- I mean, today -- and spent the night with me.  She and my friend Donna will get me to the doctor in an hour or so.  I hope the techs got enough x-rays last night and don't have to jostle my shoulder any more.

Although Jane stayed with me in spite of never getting to eat supper, she had already sent off an email to our friends before I got home.  What would I do without such wonderful friends and family?

Kendall, exactly a year ago, on 12-10-11

By the way, the EMT who was inserting an IV line while I photogtaphed his partner above knows my grandson Kendall.  They went through fire fighter training together.  Because the nearest ambulance was out on a call, the Dallas Bay Volunteer EMTs were sent for me.  Notice the name on the fire truck behind my grandson, here and when I wrote about him last year.

My grandson is in the news

Kendall, in December, giving children rides on the fire engine.

"A Hixson woman survives a house fire Monday, thanks to members of the Dallas Bay Fire Department. ... firefighters Adam Ward and Kendall Jacobs rescued the woman and her two dogs from the second floor, while Firefighter Tiffany Gensemer put out the flames..."

Wow!  Just "wow" is all I can say.  Read the whole Channel 3 News article and a similar article from the Chattanoogan.com.  Read my blog story about children at the firehall.

Celebrating at my house ~ with books, of course

Jaxon, my 1-year-old great-grandson, with his grandpa (my son) holding him and First 100 Animals, a board book.  Jaxon kissed that big tiger picture.

Raegan, my 2-year-old great-granddaughter, reading Blackboard Bear by Martha Alexander.

My daughter Barbara, on the right, with her three children:  Chase, Cady, and Cali.  Barbara is holding her copy of the family stories book I gave my children.

My daughter Sandra, trying to figure out why I gave her an old pink doll blanket.  Ask me, and I'll tell you the reason.  Her husband, Pat, managed to stay out of all my photos.  Behind her are her granddaughter Raegan, her son-in-law Michael (whose head seems to be missing), and her twin sister Barbara.

My grandson Jamey with his other grandmother (Patti) and his girlfriend, Amanda.

My granddaughter Kenzie, mother of Raegan.  Kenzie's husband, Michael, didn't get in any of my photos that turned out.

Jaxon, with his parents Whitney and Kendall, David, and my brother Jim behind them.  Jim's wife, Carol, avoided being in any of my photos.

My granddaughters Cady and Brandy, with Sharon, my favorite (and only) daughter-in-law.  I am blessed.

My son-in-law Greg, who is Cady's daddy.

Raegan, playing the piano for us, one note at a time.

David, wearing Jaxon's Cookie Monster backpack on one shoulder.

Our salon discussion today takes place here, in my living room.  Although temps have dropped below freezing a few times, it hasn't really been cool enough to light a fire, which is why I could line gifts up on the hearth in front of the fireplace before the family arrived.  Hey, Bookfool, that carefully assembled pile of books in the corner is the book tree that never reached the heights I imagined for it.  At the rate it was NOT tapering in, it would have had to reach the ceiling before it looked like a pointed fir, so I simply topped it with a steepled church (which has a light inside to show stained glass windows) and put the lights around it.  The red thing?  That's a wide ribbon hanging from the mistletoe on the ceiling fan.

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