Do you have credit cards?

Note to self:

Be sure to cancel credit cards before I die.

Customer service being what it is today, you can probably imagine how this could happen.  A lady died in January, and Lloyds-TSB bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.  The balance had been $0.00, but now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the Bank.

Nephew:  "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Bank:  "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Nephew:  "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Bank:  "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Nephew:  "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Bank:  "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Nephew:  "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Bank:  "Excuse me?"

Nephew:  "Did you just get what I was telling you, the part about her being dead?"

Bank:  "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone.

Nephew:  "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Bank:  "The account was never closed, and the late fees and charges still apply."

Nephew:  "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Bank (stammer):  "Are you her lawyer?"

Nephew:  "No, I'm her great-nephew."  (Lawyer info given.)

Bank:  "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Nephew:  "Sure."

Fax number is given, fax is sent, conversation resumes.

Bank:  "Our system just isn't set up for death.  I don't know what more I can do to help."

Nephew:  "Well, if you figure it out, great.  If not, you could just keep billing her.  I don't think she will care."

Bank:  "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Nephew:  "Would you like her new billing address?"

Bank:  "That might help."

Nephew:  "Rookwood Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney.  Plot number 1049."

Bank:  "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Nephew:  "Well, what the #*!! do you do with dead people on your planet?"

Moral of this story:  It's better to laugh than to cry.  I posted this on my Joyful Noiseletter blog in February 2008, so I figured it's time to share it again.