Didja ever notice.....?

A friend of mine shared a humorous list on Facebook.  I especially like the one I moved to first place:   "The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement."  I need to remember that, since I regularly misplace things these days.  Here's the list she posted, after explaining what prompted it:

Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else.  A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today?"  I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator."  She didn't quite know how to respond and had that deer in the headlights look.  I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

1. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
2. When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"  I just say, "No, it's for company!"
3. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.  I think you should write, "An ambulance."
4. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
5. Have you ever noticed that the Roman numerals for forty (40) are XL?
6. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.
7. Did you ever notice that when you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "Theirs"?
8. Aging:  Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
9. Some people try to turn back their "odometers."  Not me.  I want people to know why I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.