Monday Muddle

Actual dialogue of a former (in other words, "fired") WordPerfect Customer Support employee.  (Now I know why they record these conversations!)  I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.  The operator sued the WordPerfect organization for Termination without Cause.

Operator:  "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller:  "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator:   "What sort of trouble?"
Caller:  "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator:   "Went away?"
Caller:  "They disappeared."
Operator:   "Hmm.  So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller:  "Nothing."
Operator:   "Nothing?"
Caller:  "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator:   "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Caller:  "How do I tell?"
Operator:   "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?"
Caller:  "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator:   "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller:  "There isn't any cursor.  I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator:   "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Caller:  "What's a monitor?"
Operator:   "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Caller:  "I don't know."
Operator:  "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?"
Caller:  "Yes, I think so."
Operator:   "Great.   Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Caller:  "Yes, it is."
Operator:   "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Caller:  "No."
Operator:   "Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller:  "Okay, here it is."
Operator:   "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller:  "I can't reach."
Operator:   "Okay.  Well, can you see if it is?"
Caller:  "No."
Operator:   "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Caller:  "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle — it's because it's dark."
Operator:   "Dark?"
Caller:  "Yes — the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator:   "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller:  "I can't."
Operator:   "No?  Why not?"
Caller:  "Because there's a power failure."
Operator:   "A power ... A power failure?  Aha.  Okay, we've got it licked now.   Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?"
Caller:  "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator:   "Good.  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller:  "Really?  Is it that bad?"
Operator:   "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller:  "Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?"
Operator:   "Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!"